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I'm moving in...
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Below is a self portrait of my freind Bob.
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Bob is very happy to see all of you! He is in college this smester learning sign language so he can tell his keepers when he needs to potty. He said to tell you all he loves you! He has invited all of us to go camping in the Congo in Africa this Thanksgiving. Be sure to bring plenty of potatoes to bribe the hostile natives with! But dont bring any eegplants, because eegplants are what they use to put a curse on people to make them have dysentary.
Im really not sure what i am supposed to put in all these little text boxes all over the place so i am just putting random passages. Micha wants me to write some more Bob stories but i will do it later. did you all know that if you look closely at a banana sticker, in the blue stripe under "Dole" it says what country that nanner came from? i have Columbia, Guatemala, Venezuela, and, o course, Tomatoland.
There are TOO many kids in this tub. There are too many elbows to scrub. I just washed a behind that i KNOW wasnt mine. There are TOO many kids in this tub.
once upon a time, in a papaya far,far away, there lived bob. bob loved to crochet and make jelly, as well as play puttputt and asteroid. he was your everyday gay baboon until one day.................
bob was visited by his mother in law, elodora. she was a supermodel but really a witch who liked to cast spells on others to make them turn orange. elodora's favorite color was green. so bob turned green. but bob was magic, too. he cast a spell on elodora's pet caterpillar, spike. he made spike grow 2345 extra elbows. elodora being a model, she liked eveything to be flawless and perfect so having a freaky pet caterpillar was NOT ok with her. so she squashed spike, whose legs were insured for $1,000,000. except spike escaped by using a body double. so he wanted to get back at elodora for trying to smush him. so he replaced all her fat free pringles with the real kind so she would get fat. but she was on trial for fraud b/c spike wasnt dead but she got the million bucks of insurance anyway. she got the electric chair. so spike felt unrelieved angst and became a master of diguise. he travelled around the world as nonexistant people until he was posing as a korean nail artist and he fell in love with a rich customer named RuPaul. they got married and had little RucaterpillerPauls. but bob is still in the long lost papaya...............
so hes orange now.
his agent, hercules herman , got him hired in a movie to play the famous and worshipped gilligan. but he got fired b/c gilligan was polka dotted, not orange and green striped. so he leaves his papaya to beat up the guy who fired him and it turns out that bob got fired b/c this girl has pictures of the casting director in drag and she threatened to sell them to playboy unless he cast her brudder as gilligan. so bobs being striped doesnt matter. bob seduces the evil girl, whose name is shadrachia. so he steals the pictures and show them to the casting guy and burns them so he can play gilligan. then the producer of the movie goes, "what are you talking about? we arent making this movie! this is a stupid movie and you are all stupid people." so the casting director, whose name is freddy kruger, commits suicide by eating until his spleen explodes, blowing his head off. the girl shadrachia writes a tell-all book full of garbage that is disguised as a bestseller.
so she gets rich and movies to the st thomas.
so bob is is hollywood and jobless.
he fires hercules herman and goes to san fran, where he gets a job as the Bush Man. he stands behind a bush and jumps out a suprised tourists, while a colleague video tapes the responses. he then offers to sel the tape to the scared tourist who now feels really silly.
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-When in Rome, take plenty of clean undies.
_What goes around, usually hits a nice quiet shy reserved person in the head.
-go potatoes!gogo potatoes!
go potatoes!gogo potatoes! shake it to the left, shake it to the right, PEEL yo potato and GRUNT! take a bite! GRUNTGRUNT! take a bite!
-oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh! oh oh oh oh oh! the right stuff!
-o i wish i was an oscar meyer wiener, thats what i would truly like to be-e-e! for if i was an oscar meyer wiener, everyone would TAKE A BITE of me!
-does anybody know how to get white housepaint off a blu car? my daddie says wash n wax it real good then get after it with steel wool.
-If any of you go to the fair, go play the games and win me a big stuffed mr potato head. to buy it costs $22!!
-its better to fart and be ashamed, than to hold it in and bust a vein.
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This is my pet dog stinkie. She smells like roses.
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I like to eat,eat,eat apples and bananas! the picture below is ned nostril and his wife, berta booger. hey ronald, they just SNEEZED.
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random limericks
there once was a toad named frank.his breath was pretty rank. he liked to eat borshe and his mom drove a porshe and he painted his toenails pank.
in the tiny town of ReeRee, where none of the people would peepee,bob acted mean so they fed him a bean and he died and came back as leelee.
A dialogue
-voulez vous couche avec moi, ce soir?
-kiyate poyo loco!
-guhdoy suh-oy, guhdoy suet!
-connichiwa!
-Kapesh?
-ca va, et toi?
-une boisson, s'il vous plait.
-les poisson, les poisson, how j'adore les poisson! love to chop and toe serve leetle fish(BAM! BAM! BAM!) first i cut off zee head and i pull out zee bones!
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Favorite Links
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